(don't) CALL 9 1 1

Since I did not see any whales before getting in the water, I swam directly out from my house, hoping for the best.

For a swimmer in the water it is not possible to see any signs of whales. Boats, yes; whales, never! The best I can do is go to an area where whales have been seen before, then hope that one swims by to check me out. Even when a whale is close, the only way to know where to look is to listen for their breathing above water. So this morning I swam, then stopped and listened, swam, listened, swam, listened - nothing, nothing, nothing. Then suddenly fifty yards in front of me a baby whale breached (jumped out of the water). And was gone. I listened intently, but heard nothing but sirens from shore. Those pesky sirens were getting louder and not going away. How annoying.

Finally a jet ski from Maui ocean rescue approached and told me that they had to haul me in. Someone on shore had reported a swimmer in distress (if you have ever seen me swim, you know how they got that idea), and 911 dispatched police cars, a fire engine, and a marine patrol to rescue me.

Oh well. There's always tomorrow. But please, don't call 911. I'm not drowning, I just swim that way.